Closure~

It has been 7 weeks since we found out our baby had no heartbbeat.  I had no idea the length of the process on that day in the doctor's office.

Essentially, he gave me two options to proceed with.  One, I could have a D & C, which sounded harrowing, or I could let my body go through the process on it's own.  I opted for option two having faith that my body would not fail me.  To follow up, I had blood drawn every week to determine that my HCG (the pregnancy hormone) levels were dropping.  He told me I would continue to have my blood drawn until my levels reached 4.  When I had gone in at 6 weeks pregnant, my levels were 18,000 and some odd numbers.

I have faithfully gone every Thursday after school to be stuck in the arm and donate my vial of blood.  I hate having my arm stuck, but in the name of progress, I put on my big-girl panties, and I did it.  I made progress each week, although, it has been less than a quick process. 

4/5-747
4/12-174
4/18-70
4/26-45 (I got to go 2 weeks this time, because he decided I was one of those slooooow ones).
5/10-11
5/17-5

The doctor called on 5/17 and said, while I did not achieve the goal of 4, they felt comfortable determining I had a complete miscarriage, and I did not need to be followed any longer.  So, 7 weeks later, I am officially not pregnant.

My heart aches for the baby I won't know, but life isn't slowing down for me to feel sorry for myself.

While I've been working through this, Isla has moved into a big girl bed.  Alex tore the crib down and hauled it to the basement. It was a little bittersweet not knowing if we will ever put a baby in that crib again.

She's a big girl in a big bed!

I attended Kindergarten Round-up for Rowan, and I'll see his little preschool graduation tomorrow night.
I am blessed beyond words with the gifts I have been given, and we are moving on~